So this one night I was on a trek around town. . . .
I was walking down the sidewalk when I saw what I thought was a rock. I got closer and the rock seemed to hop all on its own. Much to my surprise it was a fairly large toad! I said "what are you doing in the middle of the street little toad guy?", and proceeded to attempt to catch it. Five minutes later, after making a fool of myself chasing the toad around in circles in the middle of the street, I finally lunged forward and grabbed him with both hands. I held him out in front of me like a grenade that was about to go off. . .
I traversed down the street in hopes of finding a safe place to release my toad friend who I deemed 'toad guy'. During my long journey to said safe haven, I was speaking reassuringly to the toad and occasionally looking around exclaming quite loudly "This is a toad, not a grenade", to random lawns, mailboxes and houses.
About three or four blocks later I came to a park with the misleading name of 'Rough and Ready Park'. I knew there was a water source and plenty of vegetation for Toad Guy to hide in, so I found a safe place to let him go and said adieu to my little buddy.
After washing my hands of the toad urine, with ditch water mind you, I walked home with my hands out to my sides making sure I didn't touch my face at all.

The end!